the mom from Indiana

I was just over on Barngoddess page (If I knew how to put a link up I would)  Anyways I was reading about the Indiana mom who’s 3 yo son got down from a second story apt. and ended up 20 yards from the Highway. 

My personal thoughts on this is complicated to say the least.  There are a lot of parents out there and automatically condem her for being a bad mom and if I had read this 2 years ago I would have been one of them.  But until someone has gone through Depression and tramatic changes in their life they would never understand how something like this can happen.

I had my youngest son Caleb 2 years ago in Oct.

 Less then two months later at the age of 25 I had a total Hysterectomy a week later was Christmas I was sleeping on the couch because the stitches in my stomache was still sore. I couldn’t even hold my newborn son for a month.  When I was finally released to go back to work the next Feb.  My work was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to handle to work since my DR. put lifting restrictions on me so after concindering this for a while on April 1st one of the managers at work and also a dear family friend showed up at my front door and told my don’t bother getting ready they had pulled me out of service until further notice.  so that means I was out of a job a new baby at home and already on antidepressants and antianxeity pills from PPD and my surgery.  My world crumbled around me it felt like someone just came up and took all my bones out of my body.

Around the end of April I got a call from my mom and was told that the manager’s wife Linda my mom’s bestfriend had Lung cancer. She was only 44 when she passed away 5 weeks after being diagnosed she never smoked a cig in her life yet she was taken that same painfull way.  By that time I was far gone.  All I did was eat and sleep the pills weren’t helping.  About a month after Linda passed I was talking on the phone to my mom about all the shit that was happining or already happened when I had the worst pain I ever felt in my chest I thought I was having a heart attack and was going to die with my kids crying around me while I layed in the fetal position on the entryway floor.  When my husband Chris made it home he tool me to the hospital and they told me I had a acute Panic attack.  I was put on more pills and went to therapy sessions. I am still learning to deal with the pressure especially now that I’m off work again and my sickness benifits just ran out.

During the time I was going through my depression I did things that I am not proud of things I thought I was capable of doing.  I would yell at my kids just for spilling their milk, I woudl spank their butts for annoying me, I also would sleep while they were up playing. Once my second child Grayson Woke up before I did and decided that he wanted to play outside instead of waking me up he got a chair and climbed on a bookshelf to take the chain off the door.  he made his way outside with Caleb who was about 1 at the time and ended up in the dirt road infront of my house. we live on a little dirt road with about 10 trailors around us with a cattle field at the end of the road. anyways my neighbor Jeremy seen them and brought them to the house to make sure I knew they were out there he found me asleep in my bed dead to the world.  Not my proudest moment. Thank GOD he knew the stress I’ve been under and understood.  This was right before I went to the therapist.  I told her what happened and she just looked at me and said That she has never heard of a child that hasn’t snuck out of the house when the parents were sleeping. that is happens more times then you think.

I remember when I was a kid not even in school and my mom went downstairs to do some laundry and I decided that I wanted to swing from the banaster so I wrapped the curtins cord around my neck a couple times and swung over the side, By the time my mom made it upstairs I was blue in the face and 6 rope burns around my neck. Also I decided that I wanted to be a electrian and took a bread twist tie and stuck it in a wall outlet I had burns all over my hand.  Another time when my mom was taking a nap and my dad was supposed to be watching me and fell asleep on the couch I tried to shave my chin like my dad and took off half my skin with the blade.  There was blood everywhere.  There was also a time that when I was 6 my sister’s were 7 and 9 and my little brother was only 2 were playing with our friends in the cul-de-sac that we lived in and my dad went inside to get a drink.  It was during the summer and was a nice warm day so my dad left Lucas my brother in his diaper. Well these stuck up neighbors thought that wasn’t right so they called the cops. You know what the cops said. The neighbors needed to mind their own business. we weren’t beat up none of us had broken bones, black eyes or crying to them to save us from our parents.  infact we begged them to leave our dad alone. I might have not have been the easiest kid to take care of but I’m alive and I love my parents then most.  I know that they couldn’t be stuck to my side every second of the day. 

Now as for the poo on the wall. I can’t tell how many times I have left the room to come back and see that one of the kids have undressed themselves and taken off the diaper they were wearing and smeared the poo all over them and the walls let alone in theirmouths.  Payton once tried to change Graysons diaper and it ended up looking like a diaper bomb had went off in the bedroom.

I am not condoning her for what she did but I do understand that sometimes things happen and times get tuff to handle things on your own. I read that she just moved from FL to IN and the son was autistic she just ended a bad marriage but the dad was going to come up to help her out because she said she was getting depressed.  I have yet to find one parent let a lone a mom that hasn’t lost, fallen asleep or just plan forgot about their kid and something not happining.  Hell my mom and dad lost me in the KC mall  and ended up at one of those booths were they annouced that there was a missing girl they had.  I remeber that two old woman tried to tell the people I was their granddaughter.  Did I deserve to be taken away from my parents no. Do I think this lady needs to have her kids taken away NO! Think of me what you will but I know who devious children can be even small ones and if they took away kids away from their parents everytime something happend or the kid wonders off  I would say about 90% of us would loose custody of our kids by the time they reached 5.  I would have to say if you are one of those people that automatically think she is the scum of the earth take a long hard look and think back and see if at anytime you, your mom or sister hasn’t done the same thing she’s done.  Also just in my opinion her being asleep has no bearing on anything.  If the kid wanted out he would have gotten out even if she was a wake all he had to do was wait till she was taking a quick shower or changing out the laundry to make his move. either way awake or asleep he still would have been 20 yards from the highway.  the only diffence would have been if she was awake people would looked at it as a OMG moment on how lucky she was nothing happend to him and been called a close call.  and people would have looked at her with sympothy.  I believe the story get told the way the press wants to tell it.  I guess I’m to of a forgiving person but when something like this happens I know that not everyone is perfect and mistakes happen but you shouldn’t be harshly punished for something that happens to every mom at one point or time. I will even include the teenage runaways they are old enought to know better but somehow the parents failed to keep their kids in the house and most of the time the parents are sleeping shouldn’t they be punished for not keeping and eye on their own kid. People seem to think that just becuase a teenager can walk and talk and think for themselves the parents shouldn’t have to acount for them I say bullshit.  They are still required to take care of the kid under the law!!

Wow I didn’t mean to make this so long but I guess I just felt a certain way and wanted to get my point across.. As I said this is my opinion not what everyone should feel.  Some of you might also feel that my mom wasn’t the best mom but none of her four kids have ever been arressted. hooked on drugs, sold ourselves for money or become a total deginerate. You might also feel that I have failed as a mom but would my kids look this happy if they weren’t loved and loving Chris and I back

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